I don't think you are getting it right. The author has some behaviors and has observed that some of them may have come simply from observing other autistic people. There is a core question of where did the behavior originate, and that question causes a lot of anxiety for the author in a world that is hostile to "the other".

This is expanded by a desire to free themselves of the world's judgment and their internalized constraints. Enacting these behaviors, borrowed from others or created within, feels like connecting with their natural body when before they felt separated.