> But what can we do? Sexuality is an innate, unchanging aspect of what it means to be man and woman, and it isn't going to be removed from our genes anytime soon.
Not entirely. Not every woman is attracted to the strong silent type, and not every culture has always favored that form of masculinity. Historically, the amount of emotion and intellect a man was permitted to display has depended more on social status and class than genetics. "Gentlemen" and "men of breeding" used to write poetry and sonnets and kiss one another on the mouth and women would still swoon over them. Letters written by soldiers to their wives during wartime often display a great deal of tender emotion and passion.
Also, not every man is primarily attracted to looks. While it probably is true that men are more focused on that than women, it's certainly the case for women as well, and often for men it's a sign of immaturity, but men do mature.
What can we do? First, accept that we're not mere automatons running sexual algorithms - sexuality is far more subtle and variant than the stereotype of "men like strippers, women like cowboys." I don't know at what point some men seem to have decided that "masculinity" is entirely biological and immutable and that they are doomed to be slaves to their primate urges, but it simply isn't true. Almost everything about the human condition is fluid, and masculinity like femininity and gender is at least in part a social construct and internalized complex, both of which can be changed.