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Comment by goatinaboat | Hacker News Reader

potential matches were verified, including height, weight

I am happily married now (met my wife through a mutual friend, the old fashioned way) so my experience of online dating may be obsolete but women on dating sites tend to be very specific about their partner’s height. And income, and what car he drives and a big shopping list of mainly physical and materialistic traits. If you could verify all of that you might be onto a viable business.

How you attract the men to your platform is up to you...

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> How you attract the men to your platform is up to you...

Women. Period. If you have women, then men will come. And they'll jump through absolutely every hoop and hurdle to do so.

The population of men who fulfil one of these shopping lists and would subject themselves to this verification process is insignificant. They are in bars successfully pursuing women who don’t write shopping lists on dating websites.

yep its cause women dont have to do any work they just get chats all the time from guys

but its so bad now because women are competing for the top 5% of men who are like models and everyone else gets no response

An honest question: Do you have any evidence to back up this claim? I keep hearing this claim, but I haven’t see any solid science or other data supporting it.

My understanding is that women are more picky than men about who they find attractive, but less picky about who they will message and respond to.

Before the above-mentioned buyout, OkCupid's blog used to have at least one article documenting this exact phenomenon. If you are not an 8/10 or better rated by women, you are fighting for the bottom 20% attractiveness of women, and EVEN THEN still have a low response rate.

Create a profile of an average looking guy, then create a profile with a model looking guy. The first guy will have zero girls messaging him first and will get 5% reply rate, the second guy will have girls throwing nudes and phone numbers down his inbox.

yea okcupid did a test and showed it then tinder did a test and its even worse now

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-g...

https://twitter.com/paperclique/status/1087579317809246210

https://twitter.com/devonzuegel/status/1087575749949673472

Thanks for the links.

I have seen that @medium link before; this is an informal survey done by a single person so there’s probably a lot of methodological issues with the survey. The third link is just a screenshot from that same article, so it is just as dubious.

The second link is quoting the actual article out of context.

Here is the entire article: https://archive.is/yse2

To wit: “Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women [...] women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve, which is a healthier pattern than guys’ pursuing the all-but-unattainable.”

Point being, it’s men who only want the most attractive girls, and it’s women who are more willing to give a homely guy a chance.

nah women start chats like 1% of the time so theyre just messaging back men who actually reached them first

okcupid was from 2009, its way different now after ten years. women control the scene and they only go for the top. thats what the tweets i linked from 2019 show

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