Hacker News Reader

Comment by DoreenMichele | Hacker News Reader

Perhaps that's because most women need a man's income to not be dirt poor.

I appear to be the highest ranked woman on HN. I appear to be the only woman to ever have spent time on the leader board.

It has resulted in nearly zero professional connections. When I complain about that, I get blown off and told that's not something I should expect from HN, nevermind that it works that way for plenty of men.

I was homeless for nearly six years. I continue to struggle to make ends meet. I'm currently broke.

This is an ongoing issue for me. And it is shocking and appalling to me that I still get told after all this time that my gender isn't the issue and I'm imagining things. I guess just to add insult to injury while I literally starve. Again.

View on HN

I'm very sorry that you go through hard times but when you take a look at the homelessness statistics you would understand men are having it in comparison statistically speaking much harder.

It's really not that simple.

https://sandiegohomelesssurvivalguide.blogspot.com/2017/07/g...

According to the article women, I guess, have it harder because:

1) Family tends to want to take care of women. Women get custody more often! 2) Women often are able to find a man willing to take care of them. 3) Peeing in bushes is hard.

With other rich quotes like "women seem this and men seem that". At most it simply proves that women have it easier.

I've been on the LB for months and it hasn't resulted in any contacts at all. In fact, AFAICT being on the HNLB is a complete no-op. And I'm a white male.

It's not uncommon for someone like you to make a statement like this when I make such comments.

I imagine I would be downvoted to hell and possibly crabbed at by the mods if I began researching members of the leader board to prove my case or even just began ticking off what I happen to know off the top of my head.

I'm not at my best at the moment. Suffice it to say this kind of statement is part of the problem in my eyes, though it often seems motivated by good intentions.

There are men who've used their popularity here to make contacts, promote their work, etc. The fact that you aren't one of them isn't actually evidence that it can't be done.

> someone like you

Do you listen to yourself? What exactly did you mean by "someone like you"? Do you not get that the whole problem is people thinking in terms of "people like you" (i.e. "women", "muslims", "blacks", "C++ fans", "privileged white males who have had life served up to them on a silver platter") instead of "you"?

> this kind of statement is part of the problem

And what exactly is "this kind of statement"? Because AFAICT all I did was tell you some facts from my own experience.

> There are men who've used their popularity here to make contacts, promote their work, etc.

I don't doubt that (though I can't help but wonder how you would know). But so what? Different people navigate life in different ways.

Let's take a look at how you present yourself. The first sentence in your HN profile is:

"Actions speak louder than words. Men who loudly protest the unjust treatment of women while actively perpetuating it should be judged by their deeds, not their hollow and hypocritical words."

To me that does not say, "This is a person with whom you would want to do business", it says, "This is a person with a planet-sized chip on their shoulder." You should at least consider the possibility that this has as much of an effect on people's desire to interact with you professionally as your lack of a Y chromosome, because your HN profile is actually under your control.

What exactly did you mean by "someone like you"?

Someone on the leader board who self identifies as male.

OK, so "this kind of statement is part of the problem" when it comes from a male but would not be "part of the problem" if I self-identified as a female?

(BTW, the original question was rhetorical, and so is this one. I'm not actually looking for an answer.)

You have cause and effect backwards. Those people you are thinking of are well known for what they do outside of HN, and then they attract a following on HN.

I have reason to believe that is not universally true. Again, I'm not interested in naming names. I don't believe that goes good places.

why do you expect that the leader board means anything? they are just internet points, no?

I don't think "Popular commenter on HN" is a position in many companies. You're supposed to check the "Who's hiring?" threads and see where your skills would match the job description and contact them. That's about it on HN, this isn't really a job seeking board.

> I continue to struggle to make ends meet. I'm currently broke.

I'm sorry to hear that.

> It has resulted in nearly zero professional connections

I looked at your website a bit, but I am curious. Is it too much to ask what kind of professional connections do you seek? Maybe somebody around this thread has something for you, by sheer coincidence.

I blog. (For example: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21064999) Patreon supporters or tips would be nice.

I do resume work. Five pages per week of that would keep me in groceries.

I also do other things, not pertinent to the HN crowd.

There are other goals I'm working on. But those are the most immediately actionable.

Hope you don't taken offence, but since you mentioned groceries I am curious what you think of something like a food bank?

About a month ago I started volunteering passing out groceries at one of those here in San Francisco. I don't know what the process is like for recipients, but I see the same faces come in each week, regular looking people, sometimes with family or children in tow, and they seem pretty well provided for with some good ingredients for the week.

I've done that in the past. I have a serious medical condition with significant dietary restrictions, a dead fridge and limited cooking ability. When I did that recently, a lot of what I got was cold food which spoiled overnight because my fridge is dead and I don't have the funds to replace it right now.

It's just vastly better for me if I earn the money and it's not a huge amount that I need, so it's frustrating as hell that I can't come up with it consistently.

If you search Craigslist, you can find working refrigerators for free. Here is a link

https://sfbay.craigslist.org/search/sss?query=Free%20refrige...

For what it's worth, I think you're a great person. I hope you find food and income security soon!

Thanks.

Due to the medical issues in the family, cleanliness is a really high priority. The manager of the building has been amazingly supportive. He offered to give us a fridge from a different room, but it was a horror show of filth and I asked him to remove it the same day, which he very graciously did.

He also tried to repair the fridge that died, but it couldn't be repaired.

I honestly just need to come up with the money and buy a small new fridge for probably under $200.

My income is gradually going up. It's just painfully slow and frustrating as all hell, which has me living from crisis to crisis and I hate it.

Sexism isn't the only factor. I brought up my point of view in hopes of supporting a larger point, which may have been a mistake.

Anyway, trying really hard to just drop this discussion as so much of it was very negative to me.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com