The Great Old Ones did not have access to any lost mystical knowledge. The Lisp inventors hadn't even sorted out variable scoping leading many Lisps to have dynamic scoping which is now widely agreed to be the wrong default. Also, the Lisp-1 versus Lisp-2 split. These were clearly people that were figuring it out as they went along, which they would be the first to admit.
> standard dialects
An oxymoron if there ever was one. :)
> APL was designed by a mathematician originally as a teaching aid.
...and it's virtually dead. There are many interesting ideas in there but it doesn't seem like Iverson's ideas about what is a desirable notation for thought resonated with any significant fraction of people. There were many years where APL was a standard part of a CS degree. With that much forced contact, you would expect it to have stuck around if it had so much going for it. (See: Pascal and BASIC, which punched above their weight in large part because of early introduction in schools.)
> Ada was designed in a contest by the US DoD after spending a long while collecting requirements and it was then fully specified before any implementation work was done.
Ada also has a lot of interesting ideas but... outside of the DoD, it's not exactly doing well either. It turns out that spending several years writing an enormous specification without regard to implementation leads to... unbelievably complex, expensive implementations that take years to reach the market. Who could have predicted that?
The economic cost of implementing the language is a salient part of its fitness. It doesn't matter how nice the language is if you can't actually use it because you don't have a working compiler.
C++ is only bad to the degree that you can completely wish away path dependence. (Hint: You can't.) There were many languages better than C++ designed at the time, but they didn't take off because they lacked the features we hate in C++ today. Those features existed as a path to lead the existing C programmers to C++. Meanwhile, other purer languages floated off in space, beautiful but unreachable by mortals.
JavaScript was just a sad rush job that we're all unfortunately stuck with. I agree with you on PHP.