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Comment by nrjames | Hacker News Reader

Kids need A LOT of sleep; more than you think. I would say that 80% of the time you see a kid crying or throwing a tantrum, it’s a combo of not having enough sleep and not having the emotional toolkit or communication skills to express their needs. My single recommendation is to get your child on a sleep schedule and stick with it aggressively.

Check out the book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth.

BTW, I noticed my older daughter getting super cranky when using iPads/phones when she was about 2.5, so we stopped giving them to her and her mood vastly improved as a baseline. You’ll have to make your own decisions about tech and kids, but just keep that in mind. My kids now will happily go on a 12 hr car ride without ever asking for an iPad, etc. YMMV.

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Something I didn't realise, along with how much sleep babies need, is that they don't know that the solution to being tired is to go to sleep. I just assumed that if they were tired they would sleep. But they don't know how to go to sleep, or that the horrible feeling of being tired is solved by going to sleep, so they just get wound up instead.

It's important to give kids food every few hours for the first few months. When they are hungry, they'll let you know. At some point (4 months? not sure what the experts say) you can start trying to get them to sleep at night.

When you finally get them sleeping through the night, it's important for them to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, including weekends. It puts a huge dent in your social life, but it results in happy, pleasant kids.

If you provide an environment where your kids are on a regular sleep schedule every single night, that's way more than half the battle.

More than anything else, mentally prepare for world where everything you do is controlled by a little baby, and their needs.

This * a lot. I have 5 kids (2 in grad school during PhD).

Ages 0-3 are when kids need physical order in their lives (they will spontaneously separate colors, they misbehave less when they get enough sleep at routine times, eat at routine times in routine places, etc.)

Ages 3-6 are when they start wanting order in the mind and care less about physical order and routines.

Fully agree— routine is important starting around 4-6 months. As is often said, well rested babies sleep better.

I also recommend “Happiest Baby on The Block” by Harvey Karp. Read one or two of these types of books but don’t go overboard.

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