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Comment by egypturnash | Hacker News Reader

I so do not want to click on this link in case there are pictures. I really do not want to see what this looks like.

Are there pictures?

There's a pic and it's not so pretty. What's much worse to me is the description of what her husband did to her. Consider skipping this one altogether.

Yeah not good, how can men bring themselves to such violence against women. I am sitting here as I write this looking at my wife and cant for the life of me fathom doing such a ghastly act to her or even a woman that I don't know, no matter what I believed (real or imaginary) their transgressions where against me. I don't know the back story but if he was capable of doing this, she probably left him for good reason as I cant imagine this was the first incident. A person has the right to leave if they feel you are no longer the right person for them, sometimes it happens in pretty shitty ways, but it does not justify physical harm to that person.

I am just left speechless, there really should be a death penalty for intentionally maiming a person to the point that they will live the rest of their life in suffering and sorrow. No one deserves the fate this woman has been left with. I am sorry she will have to endure another transplant.

> I am sitting here as I write this looking at my wife and cant for the life of me fathom doing such a ghastly act to her or even a woman that I don't know.

Not trying to 1-up you but I can't imagine how anyone could do this to anyone.

Edit: to those curious what happened to the husband. 30 to 70-year sentence (age 52 at the time), died in prison. https://www.vnews.com/Man-Convicted-of-Maiming-Vermont-Woman...

It's so sad what she had to experience

Yeah, it is an incredibly terrible story. Sometimes in fiction (books, movies, etc) I think how unrealistic some depictions of cruelty can be, but then I read stories like this and remember that fiction rarely captures the actual levels of cruelty people are capable of.

I'm a live and let live, everyone has their own pain and their own story, we all are just doing our best sort of guy... But I want to string that guy up.

> I'm a live and let live, everyone has their own pain and their own story, we all are just doing our best sort of guy... But I want to string that guy up.

I don't think empathy and punishment are at odds with each other. It's perfectly possible (and, I think, healthy) to have deep compassion for both victims and perpetrators, while still taking the right corrective measures.

Depending on what exactly "stringing up" entails, I might be right there with you.

It's incredibly sad that a horribly abused dog viciously attacks humans; it didn't didn't deserve that life. You still put it down.

At some point I think practically speaking people are broken beyond repair, at least compared to the amount of good you could do for other people with the same amount of resources.

It appears he's already dead.

https://www.ibtimes.com/who-carmen-tarleton-lye-attack-victi...

Quoting the linked article:

“I have fully forgiven him and I don’t have the same attitude that a lot of people have with his treatment of me,” Tarleton said. “I have moved on so well and in so many ways. I feel like, for me, it ends a big chapter in my life.”

More than what happened to her, what stands out to me is that she's moved on. That's strength. There are things that no one can take away.

You move on so it doesn't steal anymore of your future. It's the only thing you can do. Stewing about it just lets it take yet more of your life when the cost has already been too high.

In most cases, no, the people trying to bleed you emotionally with their pity party for you aren't going to do a damn thing to help improve your quality of life. They will only add to your suffering.

Shutting them down as efficiently as possible as just part of protecting yourself from yet more damage in a cold, cruel world full of assholes.

I wouldn't be so eager to highlight these statements.

Self-blame is very common in victims of domestic abuse, and when one suffers from it they're predisposed towards "forgiveness". It's really a compensation for feeling somehow responsible for their own abuse, which is very unfortunate.

I'm glad she seems to have found some closure in his death though.

I'm with you. These kind of images stay with me forever, particularly at 4 o'clock in the morning.

There's one pre-surgery photo.

There's one of her from an interview a few years back, scar tissue from chemical burns.

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