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Comment by rutierut | Hacker News Reader

This is amazing, it really shows character that you take action to solve your problems and are successful in doing so.

So please know that this is not aimed at you personally...

But...

I am so freaking sick of people recommending others to pickup either salsa or tango! Not of the people that recommend this themselves but are there really no other options? Tango/salsa classes seem to get recommended again, again and again, I get that it's a fun activity with a good gender balance, forced interaction and just enough tension to naturally provide a fun atmosphere but is there nothing else??

I don't wanna tango :(

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There are like a million activities. Martial arts, team sports, crossfit. Volunteer work, soup kitchens, helping children and those with special needs, respite care. Outdoors activities like hiking groups. Oddball niche hobby groups like fan clubs.

Like whatever. Some of those are more gender balanced than others but the basic premise is get out there into a group and do something that scares you a little based around a common activity.

Things like this feel "hard" to do because of emotional resistance, it's actually super simple and straightforward from a logistical standpoint.

I couldn’t care less about tango either. For my friends, video games are a great platform for socializing.

I’ve always enjoyed games like Pokémon, Age of Empires, WoW so my friends and I schedule time to play together.

We played AoE II together recently and it was super fun, even though we repeatedly get stomped by the hard AI.

If you see people in public doing something, try joining them. I discovered Archery that way, and others have joined my esperanto group like that. The important thing is to not drive between two destinations all the time. Sometimes try travelling in other ways or dawdling through the retail places and there's a good chance to find something.

> I am so freaking sick of people recommending others to pickup either salsa or tango! Not of the people that recommend this themselves but are there really no other options? Tango/salsa classes seem to get recommended again, again and again, I get that it's a fun activity with a good gender balance, forced interaction and just enough tension to naturally provide a fun atmosphere but is there nothing else?

How about contra dance? https://trycontra.com

(I maintain that site, and play in https://freeraisins.com and https://kingfisherband.com)

Tons. Most cities will have a social club with a range of activities.

Go look on meetup for "social" club type things, or choose a sport and Google for clubs, or whatever. Boardgame clubs, programmer meetups, kayaking, rambling, rock climbing, etc.

Volunteering is another option for meeting people.

Second volunteering. I moved to a completely different city with no friends and I felt purpose and community the moment I started doing volunteer work, everything a lonely person could ask for!

It has to start with the music. If you like tango music, you might like tango. If you like swing music, you might like swing dancing. Same with salsa.

For example, I can't stand bachata music and so I pass on bachata dancing. But I like cuban music, so I'm a casino dancer.

Start with the music.

It doesn't have to be your favorite thing, it just has to be better than being lonely. Lots of people will be there actively or casually looking for new friends - there's nothing stopping you from going for a month then suggesting to a group that you check out some new activity next week.

depending on the area there are various sports clubs out there (I do badminton every once in a while and have met fun people there)

Also just going to tech meetups or something related to an actual hobby? There are definitely things going on.

If you’re looking for something with a decent gender balance then yeah something sports-y will probably work out better

Group tennis classes work for me, I enjoy them greatly. Do whatever you want if you're not doing it to meet women.

> I don't wanna tango :(

What do you want to do?

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