The physical problems all began during depression from losing my job, and symptoms often subside when I do volunteer work or help family members with things and just feel useful. But it has been 2 years and I have not found another job that will give me health insurance. I can get freelance work sometimes so that is helpful and hopeful, but I actually have to be very careful not to make so much that I lose health insurance. This makes me very useless and unable to contribute to my family who has helped me out so much in this time. It is a constant misery, yet I am a tremendously able worker who loves to work, even very long hours.
I am not sure how legal it is for me to even have health insurance, but I have no shame either way. That would be laughable to worry about for anybody in my situation.
Working hard in American has never been materially appreciated in my experiences. This country is completely broken. You only want dishonest people who say and act in ways ways that make you feel happy. No respect for human dignity. Everything is salesmanship, and value is a measure of abstract emotional signaling. What should we expect? It is hardly ironic. It’s what this society has been asking for as long as I have been alive.