Hacker News Reader

Comment by Waterluvian | Hacker News Reader

Thanks! My wife hypothesizes that it's the act of getting my attention fixed to something dumb enough that my brain can "wind down" before bed. (not that WoW is dumb. But I spend my time fishing and taking photos)

View on HN

Taking photos (with analog film actually) was a sort of an emotional outlet for me. It also made my wife say, either you quit doing that or we divorce. And I thought to myself, is this... a normal way to argue? I figured, no probably not. Slowly I started questioning more things. Many months of pain and suffering and finally we are divorced and I'm so relieved. What helps me sleep now is podcasts and making sure I've had at least some exercise during the day, like biking to work or long walks with the dog. The physical activity is especially important if I have a lot of troubles to worry about.

Good for you, that sounds like a pretty unreasonable ultimatum to give someone.

Like anything, it depends how much of an all-consuming obsession it was, and if it was the straw that broke the camel's back on top of other marital troubles.

Of course. I'm not trying to present a case here - I'm just describing what happened inside me.

i believe there is only one way to keep a marriage alive: you need to have a common goal, and wanting to work together to achieve that goal. while working on that goal you'll be able to compromise on other things. you can demonstrate for example how photography gives you the energy needed for that goal, or you find that photography gets on the way of your common goal and you'll reduce it or stop.

without a common goal you have no reason to compromise on anything and as a result every partner will just maximize for their own benefit.

I do the same, when it ramps up like that, I either do an audio book, or read a real book. It's just enough focus for me that my mind doesn't go wild but it's not stimulating enough to keep me awake as I slow down. (Stimulating as in a fast paced movie or video game). I just think about the story, and drift off as I slow down.

It's a major life win for me.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com