Comment by capstone | Hacker News Reader

Comment by capstone | Hacker News Reader

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I had a different reaction when I'd read Surely You're Joking. I thought Feynman had simply observed the de facto difference between his two children; that one happened to be a boy and the other a girl was incidental to the story. (As a mother, I can attest to the fact that it's quite impossible to get a kid interested in something they are not into to start with).

In general, I am a little apprehensive of Feynman's "sexist pig" rep. His younger sister became a physicist largely through his encouragement which tells me that his views on women in science were rather progressive, even by today's standards. He is also known for having sided with a female professor in a sex discrimination suit at Caltech - again, very ahead of his time.

I also recall that at least some of that rep came from his use of stories that were presumably sexist, such as stupid driver (woman), smart cop (man). But according to Feynman, it was his critics, not him, who assumed that the smart cop was male, so the egg was on them.

Finally, a lot of people conflate Feynman's womanizing with sexism, and I think the guy should get a break for trying to find solace in as many women's arms as possible after watching his wife slowly die from cancer.

You're right, his children had de facto differences, and that's OK. What annoyed me was his exasperated tone when he mentioned that his daughter liked having the same story read.

As for womanizing, again it shocked that after so little time passed after her wife's death, he jumps into the scene (and with a vengeance).

But maybe, I'm reading too much into this. Here's what Michelle Feynman (daughter) has to say about what kinf of father Feynman was (http://www.basicfeynman.com/qa.html):

"Fantastic. Fun, supportive, sweet, silly. He went to great lengths to entertain us. When I was young, the nightly ritual included him scouring the house for the correct stuffed animal, with me rejecting each and every offering until I had the desired one, or until he had made me laugh with his efforts. I'm not sure which was more important. He also made for an excellent radio. I would sit on his lap and turn his nose, and he would make up songs from different radio stations."

As for womanizing, again it shocked that after so little time passed after her wife's death, he jumps into the scene (and with a vengeance).

It's not like she died suddenly. They had ample time to prepare for her death, and by the time she was gone he was already prepared to move on. He likely went months with the sadness of watching his love leave him slowly, and at the same time he was not satisfying his sexual desires. I can certainly forgive the man for "jumping into the scene" when he no longer had an obligation to his late wife.

"However, as always, every genius has their undesirable part"

This is the same reason that people are obsessed with celebrities' private lives - you're not famous/genius but you can at least tell yourself it's ok because Charlie Sheen does whores/Tiger Woods has two dozen mistresses/Feynman is a misogynist and women just happen to like him anyway, a lot and while naked (note the trend here).

Why does it matter and why do you care?

It's almost like Feynman didn't care what other people thought of him.

I'm a lot like him in that respect: I, too, don't care what other people think of Feynman.

> As for womanizing, again it shocked that after so little time passed after her wife's death, he jumps into the scene (and with a vengeance).

It shocked WHO? Who are you (or I) to judge another persons personal life in matters such as that?

Actually, that one could judge someone in such a way, shocks ME.

She actually died of tuberculosis, not cancer.

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