Do you think it would be better to work on my own projects and jump in the deep end or should I start with cookbook code and learn from that first? Part of the problem maybe is not understanding where to go once I learn the basics.
About "being an expert" -- programming is a very, very broad topic, with far too many different technologies and libraries used in different situations, so when even "experts" work, usually only a tiny amount of their work falls under their actual "expertise" (as in what they could do blindfolded), and they are always Googling what to do next. So when you do that -- constantly Google what to do next -- don't feel like you're not an expert.
I guess what I'm saying is, (perhaps unlike other fields) the body of knowledge in programming, not only that exists, but that any typical work involves, is so vast, there are no "experts" that have intimate knowledge of all of it.