I couldn’t imagine a situation that would put Norway and the US on opposite sides. Since the military allows Norway to get F-35s they probably agree.
The actual motivation for Turkey to pick the S-400 was entirely political. They are signalling allegiance to Russia. The US is now cancelling Turkey's F-35 order in response.
Even if some missile tech were to be transferred (I rather doubt it), the key part of S-400 is not the missiles - but the very sophisticated radar, control and EW systems.
Either way, it doesn't get Turkey much ahead in designing their own missile defence system, and leaves them dependent on a potential (even likely) enemy.
Nondestructive remote command disablement (what you’re referring to) is probably a real thing. It would fit the same schema that other weapons systems already have (nuclear weapons, drones, satellites).