Hacker News Reader

Comment by kr4 | Hacker News Reader

I think the key to attain ever-lasting happiness is to commit ourselves to doing kind or selfless deeds as a habit [0]. Scientifically it's been observed that when we make someone happy the same region lights up in our brain [1] when we do something to make ourselves happy.

Coupled with meditation that makes you more mindful so you can be more kind (kindfullness), you can attain a state of mind in which you can remain happy most of the time. The problems of the world will continue to be there but those will decreasingly have lesser impact on your inner state of happiness.

0: I track and share my random act of kindness (RAKs) on Black Lotus along with logging/measuring my meditation/chanting sessions (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.rt.pinpric... )

1: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/want-to-be-happier-give-m_b_6...

View on HN

Sharing this because I said it the other day and it seemed to resonate.

Happiness is overvalued. Meaning or purpose is undervalued.

Happiness is based on a transition: something new, a change of circumstances, and is by its nature temporary. Meaning and purpose are long term.

Seek meaning, not happiness.

Closely related - instead of looking for something that will make you happy, look for something that will engage your interest or excite you.

> Seek meaning, not happiness.

Hold your horses a bit here. Just because some mental model works for your, please don't do blanket statements for entire human civilization.

I for example pursue many utterly selfish hobbies without any proper meaning to me or anybody else, full of objective dangers that can kill me in case of lack of attention (or pure bad time at bad spot situation), last time this Sunday (ended up with scratches all over me after some nasty snow field slide, albeit this is very rare outcome).

The only meaning of those things (hiking, climbing, diving, paraglide, ski alpinism etc.) is feeling 200% alive, being extremely content with my life which can be described as... you get it... happiness. Climbing to the top of some peak doesn't have any proper meaning, it has been done 1000s before and will be done after me, the only meaning is how it feels during and after the adventure.

Maybe its just juggling words and we both mean same thing at the end, but I know far too many people technically unable to find long term happiness, to see how that sucks. Most of them are these highly-driven super-competitive types that have lives that look great on outside... but only if you don't know them very well.

> I for example pursue many utterly selfish hobbies without any proper meaning to me or anybody else ... the only meaning of those things is feeling 200% alive

> Climbing to the top of some peak doesn't have any proper meaning, it has been done 1000s before and will be done after me, the only meaning is how it feels during and after the adventure.

I don't quite understand what is your concept of meaning. You say that you pursue all these difficult and dangerous things that make you feel 200% alive and extremely content with your life. I wonder, how much more meaning could you ask for? To me, feeling completely alive while immersed in something is pretty much the definition of a meaningful activity! Happiness and contentment seems to be a nice bonus caused by the realization that you are in the middle of something that feels very meaningful to you.

Well then we have different views on what a meaningful activity is for us. I don't have an exact definition per se, but it would go along: changing the world for the better, if only by slightest amount. Helping others. Improve myself (debatable since its usually a tough workout and exposing oneself to dangers changes personality a bit for the better).

Maybe its about about direction - inwards vs outwards. Dunno. But climbing some big rock, risking my life definitely doesn't feel like it has big meaning to me. I am not saving anybody hanging there. But it makes me happy. Working for some NGO, being a doctor or improving peoples lives would definitely be in the category of work with purpose/meaning.

Display behaviors such as willful risk taking and demonstrating physical prowess that greatly increase your mating market value are far from meaningless or purposeless. That they also make you happy in themselves is wonderful, but even if they made you miserable and you just chose to do them anyhow they would still have meaning and purpose.

> Hold your horses a bit here. Just because some mental model works for your, please don't do blanket statements for entire human civilization.

It sounds like you've taken the aphorism to be all-encompassing.

I didn't mean "pursue meaning and forget happiness", rather that it is better to weight your goals in life to the former, as it is more sustainable.

In general I think aphorisms are rules of thumb. All such observations require careful interpretation/application to enact them usefully.

An act of kindness is a way to express our gratitude toward the society and/or nature by contributing with our skills and resources. It makes us feel that we have something valuable to offer and that certainly gives meaning to our life.

Also, eudaimonia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudaimonia)

Reply on news.ycombinator.com