4chan solved this problem a decade ago. Put your content before your identity rather than the other way around.
In many spaces today, being a straight white man is far more inflammatory than being a non-binary person of color. This is especially true in the open-source community.
The solution is to stop pushing your identity onto people when it's completely irrelevant. I'm not saying hide who you are. But it's simply not relevant to the vast majority of discussions.