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If cloudflarestatus.com isn't serving text content as Cache-Control: no-cache, that's itself an egregious bug.

It serves Cache-Control: max-age=0, private, must-revalidate. Same thing as far as I get it, maybe wider support.

Their status page is hosted on Cloudfront, perhaps adding an unintended caching layer.

Is it? From my end it looks like a plain ec2 instance from statuspage.io.

Cloudfront supports Cache-Control: no-cache

Cloudfront itself can cache the content regardless. (if its headers are showing HIT)