Hacker News Reader

Comment by JeffL | Hacker News Reader

I was playing a Moba with my brother almost every day, talking on voice while we played. I had to quit because the Moba was really sucking up all my drive and free time, but after quitting, I really missed talking with my brother. I started playing again for that reason, but had to quit again, because in the year and a half I was playing that game, I really got nothing done other than have lots of fun and piss off my wife. Of course I never call my brother on the phone otherwise, I have no reason to. I have a really hard time finding a middle ground, but the social aspect of gaming is definitely one of the strong positives for me.

View on HN

This is a wholesome version of that new Black Mirror episode. The one with the polar bear. I will say no more.

Why not agree to play once or twice a week? For example, every Monday night, you two jump on for a few hours and play and catch up?

Also, what do you mean you got nothing done? You bonded with your brother. That seems pretty valuable to me!

I am not him, but for me "nothing done" in similar situation meant that I did not learned new programming related things despite needing to, did not contributed to household chores as much as I should, deteriorated/neglected relationships with people actually around me and nearby, personal projects did not moved and stuff I was supposed to organize was not organized.

A lot of these games are designed in a way that makes them less fun when played only a little. Or you become a drag on the team. There are also long term quests and you need to be present to participate.

An explocite agreement on playing twice a week breaks "plausible deniality" here. For some reason it is hard to admit that we are doing it for social reasons. It would be like calling brother on the phone directly - the same block preventing you one action prevents the other.

>A lot of these games are designed in a way that makes them less fun when played only a little. Or you become a drag on the team. There are also long term quests and you need to be present to participate.

I think the solution to this is to find games that don’t do that

I agree, absolutely. Clash royale and other mobile ganes was that solution for me. The problem is when you joined to be with people (brother in this case), but don't want to admit it out loud or that person primary is there for game.

Not him but for me gaming has really sapped my attention span and intrinsic motivations. Before or after a "session" I find myself still thinking about the game and my brain still wired to play the game, versus the other sorts of "zones" you can find yourself in such as to exercise, read, meditate, cook, do errands, etc. I go back and forth on playing games (1 month on, 3 months off ish) - but its always quitting cold turkey. There is probably a business venture in keeping people productively busy in order to get over a gaming fetish.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com