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Comment by gubbrora | Hacker News Reader

What do you want them to do? Better themselves - Are they not already trying? Accept they were born unattractive - then what, suicide?

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They could lower their standards and settle, as people have always done. It doesn't feel great but companionship can be found in people who are not "classically attractive", as much as it stings to not be an optimum mate

One of the big incel complaints is that the least attractive women don't want the least attractive men. If that is indeed true there is none for them to settle for.

Take a step outside into a busy shopping street. I think you will find you see a lot of couples, varying from average both towards attractive and unattractive. Maybe they are attractive to each other, I can't say. People are into wildly different things. The point is that it's not exactly difficult to find evidence of this complaint not being true.

Rather than a legitimate complaint, it reads more as an excuse.

THEY claim is that monogamy (which is just 80/20 rule in a nutshell) says that the 20% of "superior males" get the 80%. And the rest are just competing but THEY claim that even if you're under 5 you are basically fucked

> Are they not already trying?

If they're resorting to blaming and hating the opposite sex, then no, they are not trying to better themselves. You can't improve yourself if you're assigning the blame outside yourself.

> Accept they were born unattractive - then what

A lot of shitty cards are dealt in life. Being unattractive is just one of them. Yes, accept and move on.

Whether or not they are trying is immaterial. The form it takes is the problem here.

Accepting you were born in a way that doesn't conform to your ideal is I think natural for any person. I'd wager most of us aren't built to the spec of an idealised representation of ourselves. Part of growing up is accepting that this is the case. The step after that is getting on with your life - why would it be suicide?

In order to even start "bettering themselves", they would have to adopt a kind of growth mindset that involves rejecting ideas like that one is "born unattractive", and that being born unattractive merits suicide.

A side effect of that mindset is also increased attractiveness to both potential partners and other social contacts in general.

I recommend this video-essay: https://youtube.com/watch?v=fD2briZ6fB0

It's just a subculture don't take it too seriously

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