Personal time is valuable, and going "above and beyond" will more often result in lost time, no extra pay, and as you say,
neuroses.
What a lot of people fail to understand is that established companies have no incentive to recognize people or reward efficiency. Once a company reaches a relatively low profitability threshold, efficiency is put on the backburner because effecting the existing patterns can cause a meltdown or make other employees obsolete. If you do extra work to make things more efficient or "better", that can be perceived as a threat to others in the organization because they'll feel inferior or maybe because what you are opportunity could lead to them being let go down the line.
Sometimes there's a good manager that will recognize and reward talent, but the vast majority of people want to show up to their boring job, push keys or pencils mindlessly, and then go home and watch Netflix at the end of the day. This includes people who are at the top. Trying to go above and beyond to impress people is, to them, a needless distraction and might actually lead to them having to do more work. Just advocating for an underling to get a meager salary increase can be a lot of work.
I've learned to only promise the work that is expected of me(i.e. what I'm getting paid for), and I've been a lot happier ever since. This doesn't mean I don't try to do a "good" job, but doing extra is asking for trouble and is an outdated means of getting promoted.