Thankfully my wife also persisted and three additional opinions later we found the right place with the right professionals and demonstrated experience and our daughter is doing great post-surgery.
We learned the same hard lesson you have, both regarding the healthcare community AND family/social support. I feel particularly bad for the huge population of folks who are unable -- for whatever reason, it could be lack of insurance or it could be lack of education, or lack of funds -- to ensure their family receive the best care possible.