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Comment by marquis | Hacker News Reader

May I comment, that it's disingenuous to travel for the purpose of looking for a life partner? For all you know, you'll have met the partner of your dreams at the bar down the road after you get back from your travels, because you are full of stories and invigoration.

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This is advice specific to his particular situation. His comments about a particular style of corporate bureaucracy indicate a mismatch between his temperament and that culture. But he doesn't want to work for himself. This means a long term move to a different culture is in order. To make that permanent if desired, foreign marriage is a good way to obtain the permanent right to work overseas. It is much more difficult for US citizens with tech skills to emigrate to other countries than is the reverse, but marriage bypasses all of that. The advice on personalities is because otherwise he will either go for a random choice that will be a bad match or foolishly pick someone of similar temperament, which in his INTJ case will doom both of them.

For the record, I never said I didn't want to work for myself, just that I wasn't ready to start my own company. And I don't think corporate culture is unique to the US, despite my phrasing as "corporate America."

I'm really in shock by your comment about using relationships between human beings so blithely, and I'm afraid it shows a naivete about how world immigration works. Many other places are not more difficult to immigrate to, I use the Working Holiday as an example as a way to get your foot in the door.

Want to move to the Netherlands? As a U.S. citizen apply to the Friendship Program, prove you can support yourself for 5 years and get residency.

Want to move to Mexico? Show them you have $1000 in your account every month and get residency.

Want to spend a year in Australia, New Zealand? Working holiday visa for US citizen under 30. (more options if you're not from the U.S.).

Want to spend a year or more in Europe? Apply for a research or arts visa.

Some people do not live their lives looking for a wife (or husband in my case) and to suggest to a 24 year old that he find the perfect fit as if he were buying a Filipino wife from a catalog who also likes dogs and long walks on the beach is irresponsible.

(Oh, and want to move to the U.S.? Good luck doing that as easily as any of the ways mentioned above)

You are very defensive about this. It is not advice to you or anyone else here other than the OP, and it's advice specifically based on what he mentioned. He is introverted and an engineer, dissatisfied with his culture. He has done travel but not gotten much enjoyment from it. My recommendation is to move to another culture and resettle there. I also have advise for him to get involved in a relationship, which will really help with his life enjoyment if he picks someone the exact opposite on the personality spectrum, especially given his type which is prone towards holing up and doing research or engineering.

Since he will be moving to another culture this means his most available girlfriends will be someone overseas. Should this lead to marriage it then becomes a good way to remain in the culture.

It has nothing to do with mail order brides or race betrayal or whatever you are freaking out about. It has to do with a complete package of advice for this one person and his circumstance. It is not meant to apply to you or to people in general.

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