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Many people use too many words. To shorten your post:

"Can anyone recommend good books for improving English writing? I've tried Jason Fried's technique of writing an essay in five versions: three pages, one page, three paragraphs, one paragraph, and one sentence. It worked really well, but I've now become more critical about... ... ..."

Two golden rules: practice, and feedback from others. I'm certainly still learning.

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Being concise is my ultimate goal too. I tried to shorten my post but it was the best I could do.

Just for an exchange of idea, how would you write my post? (no comparison or offense here, I simply want to see a different style)

A few weeks back I purchased a book called The Dictionary of Concise Writing by Robert Hartwell Fiske. So far it has served me well. Here: http://www.amazon.com/Dictionary-Concise-Writing-Alternative...

It's a fun book to skim when you have nothing to do.

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