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Comment by u201904 | Hacker News Reader

u201904

Another great issue that is overlooked is the #metoo era we live in, where men are just disgusting pigs and its our uncultured savage nature that is the issue. We are blamed for looking at a woman's ass when she chooses to wear a very tight dress showing all her curves in the name of freedom & female liberation. That is just a reflex action. One cannot be blamed for laughing when they see or hear something funny. In the same way, as a heterosexual guy, I look at what attracts me.

The main issue that, a woman has just claim without any proof and the guy is just ruined.

That is the reason why myself and couple of friends (single) have backed away from dating apps. But now we are quite anxious to date anyone we work with or lives near us.

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While I agree, I don't think this is particularly new. I've been married 20 years now, so the last time I approached a girl was in the 1900's - and I still recall the look of utter disgust and contempt that I would get from at least 80% of the women I tried to approach (mind you, I'm talking about going out to bars and clubs where there's sort of an expectation of meeting or at least talking to strangers). I was hardly alone, either. Being rejected - cruelly and viciously - is part and parcel of the male dating experience; I just think that young men have gotten tired of it.

I think you're absolutely right, and this is part of the challenge of this sort of approach: can you take the sometimes brutal rejection gracefully. This is not new, although technology may exaggerate some of the trends that already exist. Notably, at least when it comes to an initial meeting ~80% of men are "below average."

This is frankly a trope of most of the action/romance movies out there. How does Jasmine initially respond to Aladdin? By telling him what a worthless scrub he is. How does Aladdin prove he's not a worthless scrub? By hard work, a good attitude, and persistence. Jasmine eventually sees the value he demonstrates.

There's more complexity here than what I've laid out. But, think on this: Tinder mostly cuts the process off at approach.

Doesn’t Aladdin seduce jasmine by wishing he was a magical prince with a cool flying carpet and then heroically saving her from an evil sorcerer?

She hates him as a prince, though. He bombs pretty hard. Although, I have to admit she did really like the flying carpet.

False accusations, as you are suggesting in "a woman has just claim without any proof and the guy is just ruined," are exceedingly rare.

For rape, the best estimates are 2% to 10% percent of accusations are false, according to this, which looks pretty thorough: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_accusation_of_rape

You are free to be wary of it, but that fear is not grounded in observable evidence (of which there isn't much, but it is certainly better than anecdote, hearsay, or fiction).

10% isn't exactly what I'd call rare. 1 in 10 is uncommon, but it is certainly the kind of thing I'd worry about in other situations. Hell even @% (if I had a 2% chance of getting assaulted by everyone I met for example I'd be a shut in).

Obviously that isn't a fair comparison and I find this isn't actually an area I'm concerned about for whatever reason... But I wouldn't call it "exceedingly rare" with the numbers you gave

That take is grossly misleading. Around 15% of rape allegations are proven true. 2-10% are proven false (either a solid alibi or a later confession from the supposed victim).

The remaining 75% of cases are neither proved nor disproved. If you are accused, but don't have enough evidence of your innocence (or they don't have evidence of guilt), the case is not prosecuted or results in a hung jury.

The most you can accurately say is that for every 2 convictions there is one person falsely accused.

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