I don't see why a more rigorous release process would slow progress down at all. All the iterations that lead to progress should be done on test vehicles, not customer vehicles.
"Move fast and break things" is a development model that should only be applied to low-importance, low-risk systems. Most software development work occurs on such systems, and I think that narrows the perspective of the software development community as a whole.
Disclaimer: I own a Model S
Of course it's also looking like they should have grounded the fleet after the first crash, given the history of the aircraft prior to its last flight.
It almost seems like a right-to-repair issue, where manufacturers are going out of their way to avoid documenting how their products actually work for fear of losing control over them or of disclosing details that a competitor or patent holder might find useful.
There definitely needs to be a strong regulatory response to that kind of behavior on the manufacturer's part when it comes to safety-critical updates, or even updates that might conceivably impact safety of life. Which, in the airplane business, is basically all of them.