i think AR went Arel, because AR's syntax and internals sucked badly, yet admitting that by putting effort in DM would badly hurt the ego of one or more AR devs.
sidenote1: if it wasn't for the humble merb devs, rails3 would never be what it is today. these merb guys gave up a little of the name and fame of their brilliant project so the community would benefit from not being split. DHH abused that humbleness by not even mentioning them (the project nor the devs) in the announcement of rails3! that's just plain wrong...
sidenote2: DM is great stuff -- still waiting for the version that allows NoSQL backends as well though.
sidenote3: i'm ex-merb user, now rails3, yet never touchin' no AR.