But now I have kids and they need me in a way I've never felt from anyone before. It's F@#$_ing terrifying because of just how vulnerable I realise I am.
Get enough to pay your spouses expenses until they are able to get income, pay off your mortgage if applicable, and if you can afford it get enough to cover future college expenses.
Age, health, term-duration depending it will cost you a something on the order of $100-1000 per year. It will cover you to that amount until your term expires, and then it's gone. It's a pure cost - unlike whole life, which seemed to me to be more of a tax reducing strategy for very wealthy people - but you will sleep much, much better.
This is why HN is home.
I have some anxiety issues and frequently have mild panic attacks, which can have symptoms similar to heart attacks. I have vasovagal responses triggered by odd and benign things. I also have bad muscle tension in my neck and upper back, which can extend around into my chest. And to top it all off, because I have children, I am often sleep deprived and drink too much caffeine. Heart-related issues are on my mind so frequently that I've almost convinced myself that I'm going to die of a heart attack one day, despite me being in good health.
I spend a lot of time worrying, so if I could share my advice with others: if you are worried, just see a doctor. It's not worth being wrong. One day I had symptoms of a heart attack for hours and went to an urgent care facility and got an EKG and x-ray of my heart. They found nothing, and attributed it to musculoskeletal pain. Considering I've been worrying about my heart for many years prior, those tests gave me a strong sense of relief and allowed me to focus on learning how to control my anxiety without getting into a feedback loop (anxiety -> heart attack symptoms -> more anxiety from worry). I can now calm myself down pretty quickly.
This may seem obvious, but getting extra sleep and cutting out caffeine helps immensely with all of the above symptoms. Easier said than done as a parent whose kids don't even sleep through the night. :)
People are having children at older ages these days.