> happiness is a skill and a choice.
but worrying about looks is not?
> we feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks. For the first time since we were 10, we can feel relaxed about our appearance.
but worrying about looks is not?
> we feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks. For the first time since we were 10, we can feel relaxed about our appearance.
Social pressure is so strong! I don't know if you are a woman or not but from my perspective (as a woman) I am truly grateful for each year I live, as I become less and less worried about my appearance in detail, and more about the expression on my face and my body language - how happy and welcoming I look when I greet people. This knowledge wasn't obvious as a young woman.
Through, I do care also less about how I look, through I am trying to force myself to care bit more.
Being male is now a disease.
But I do get to hide much of my sagging face under a beard. And in my case, it's a totally untrimmed beard (but clean and well brushed). I can pass for old hippie or Duck Dynasty, with just a little tweaking of clothes and language style.
And there's another aspect. I'm also "free from the tyranny of worrying about" what employers and clients think of my looks. Because, for the most part, I don't have or need any. And for the few clients I do have, I'm just some ~anonymous guy who does stuff for Bitcoin.
Why do you do this? Have you experienced discrimination due to your looks?
When I was young and stupid, I was very careless. I didn't keep my teeth clean. And I smoked hand-rolled cigarettes (unfiltered) using a tasty but extremely tarry Turkish/Virginia blend (Balkan Sobranie).
Anyway, after I finally quit the tobacco habit, I gained considerable weight, going from 68kg to 91kg over perhaps 3-4 years. And then I became a total workaholic, with no time for exercise. So I stayed at ~90kg for maybe two decades.
Over the past few years, I've been gradually doing more and more weight training and aerobic exercise. So I'm down to ~79kg, with a relatively low fat to muscle ratio. And I've been thinking about getting back into whitewater kayaking. It'd be a rush. And from my experience with hypothermia and near-drowning, it'd be a great way to die.
But anyway, given that I've lost lots of fat, and gained lots of muscle, my skin is a few sizes too big. And it shows little sign of shrinkage. I can deal with the flaps on my gut, arms and legs. But my face, you know, is just too much in my face :(
And we were talking about "pressure to be attractive". What form does that take. What happens to you if you are unattractive?
I guess that is appropriate for large open plan zoos.
I don't think worrying about it is exactly a choice, when how I look will have real-life effects on how I'm treated.