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Comment by WilliamEdward | Hacker News Reader

You're clearly leaving out some important detail, which makes me think this is 100% your fault and you were being stupid, even though you want to play the victim

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Personal attacks will get you banned here, regardless of what details someone else left out. Please review https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and post civilly and substantively, or not at all.

This would be a personal attack if it was wrong to be stupid... But it's not. Everyone acts this way sometimes.

I don't even suggest they are stupid all the time, just acted so in that moment, which again is completely fine but responsibility should be shifted.

I'm sorry the use of that word is too much for you to handle, and I probably should have used another method to call out someone's mistakes. I'm also slightly disheartened that hackernews thinks the default use of stupid has to be cynical. That's my mistake and I will adjust to the fragile culture here.

It wasn't just that one word. Telling someone they "want to play the victim" is also a personal swipe, as is "this is 100% your fault" and even "you're clearly leaving out some important detail". In fact, your comment consisted of nothing but swipes!

One argument in favor of such an interpretation is that anytime somebody posts such an anecdote, and in various contexts that happens not infrequently, there is one giant thing all those story tellers forget: That everybody else only sees their side of the story, and that posting something that looks so one-sided "everybody was being stupid but me" is better not posted at all because of how unbelievable it looks, even if it indeed is true. If they had any good level of people-understanding they would in my humble opinion be much wiser to not tell the story here, or at least not make it look so one-sided, or add some disclaimers showing some self-awareness that shows they at least considered that they themselves are a key part of the problem. It reminds me of that joke of the guy who is driving a car on the autobahn and hears a warning on traffic radio about a wrong-way driver right where he is driving. "Only one?" he says to himself, "Hundreds!"

Your comment and many of the siblings just read to me as random victim blaming. "Oh, you were mistreated at work? I bet you are lying and incompetent and were actually entirely at fault."

the parent is relaying their personal experience, why would they have to add disclaimers about one-sidedness? A forum like this is literally just people telling "their side" on various topics.

I've been mistreated at work and find the parent comment very believable. If you haven't been, then you are either young or lucky. Good for you but please don't just discount other people's experiences.

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