I was seriously confused why our waters werent getting filled up, despite walking 10+ miles before noon. Or why the waiter wasnt coming to our table to take our order. Or why the waiter didn't check on us.
After sharing this story with locals, it seems their expectations are far less for restaurants.
I don't have much of an opinion on how to pay waiters, but Italy did not impress me.
In the countries I've travelled to, I've generally had excellent service, bearing the above in mind.
This is a straw man. Nobody in the US expects this - and in fact, it's rare that this even happens. At most the server will "interrupt" you once once your food arrives to check in, and even that varies by restaurant.
> In many countries, customers expect to be left alone until they signal the wait staff for something
I think you're missing what people are talking about when they talk about "terrible or slow service" in Europe. It's not that they wait for you to signal to them, but that they take so long to appear where you can find them in the first place, and that once you do grab their attention, they still take ages to actually come and serve you. They're not necessarily doing anything important or urgent (chatting idly with their coworkers, wiping down the bar, what have you), and it's eminently clear that they simply don't view providing prompt and effective service to customers as their priority.
I could give countless stories of how slow and inefficient service in Europe tends to be, or even how downright rude servers can be.
For the record, yes, this is a strictly European phenomenon. There are plenty of other places in the world (both where tipping is expected and where it isn't) where this is not an issue.
I live in the North East, and not only does a typical experience involve frequent table visits, it is an increasingly popular topic when discussing restaurants and sharing or writing reviews. People will raise it before mentioning the food!
My experience is that is closer to a (frequently exceeded) minimum in US restaurants offering full table service than a maximum (except for the rare case where the server completely disappears and neither checks nor can be summoned without accosting a busser or some other server, but those are presumably employee failures and not restaurant practice.)
Host seats you
Waiter delivers menus, asks if you want drinks
Waiter returns with drinks, asks if you're ready to order, and if not, comes back 5 min later
Waiter delivers food
Waiter comes back in 5 minutes to make sure it's to your liking
Waiter comes back to ask if you want dessert, and if not, hands you the bill.
If you've taken a long time to eat, they may return once or twice to keep your drinks topped off.
That's it. It's formulaic and quite standard. In my decades of living in various states, I've never had an experience like I see EU folk on here complain about.
Waiter returns with drinks, asks if you're ready to order, and if not, comes back 5 min later
Waiter delivers food
Waiter comes back in 5 minutes to make sure it's to your liking
Waiter comes back to ask if you want dessert, and if not, hands you the bill. >
Which in certain places is precisely too much? What is considered to be minimal and norm by some, is too much by others.
I will ask for Drinks,
I will ask to place orders,
I will ask for desert when I want to,
I will tell you if the food is bad, or more like I will not tell you and leave it on the plate.
Don't come and talk to me with small talks, I am enjoying my time with my guest.
And I will ask for bills
The only thing the waiter have to do is to keep an eye on the table from time to time because he or she should know what the stages of that table is up to.
You see, that is the difference with expectation. Push and Pull. Americans expect the Services to be Pushed to them, while many others expect services only when asked, Pull. ( I wish I could think of a HTTP jokes here )
As to the tipping culture, in some places it is absolutely insulting to tip.
And no, A Glass of water is not a standard part of services before you ask.
GP did.
The worst service I've ever had was in Canada where they do tip, and I was rating that by the North American standards rather than my home country's. I still tipped the standard amount because I disagree with tipping, but he didn't seem incentivised.
It's important to rate experiences by what the region is expecting, not by what you expect at home.
Where I am living currently, I think there is more income equality - partly I believe is because of having more or less good wages despite line of work, and you get treated like how someone would normally treat you without being forced upon with the expectation of a tip.
Then you go to Japan, where the service is dramatically better than the US, and you realize that they don't expect tips, either...
It WAS a Michelan-Starred restaurant and our two-person bill was $800 with a $200 tip!
Waiters working for tips leads to a territorial approach to customers and leads to an awkward dynamic where they aren't focused on good service but rather the impression of good service required for the tip.
I'm on the European side of things so I do not want to be approached while eating. I want to flag the waiter whenever I want something and I absolutely hate fake small talk in order to drive the tip up. It feels so artificial and not genuine (and happened often enough in the US).
I do like small talks with waiters that are genuine but having the possibility of a tip kind of destroys that.
To be fair though, waiters in touristy places everywhere suck. So that might also be the issue if you went to a tourist hole instead of a restaurant for locals.
Unlike the US, waiters don't bug you every 30 seconds, and I consider that a feature. You actually have to ask for things you want, and you signal to a waiter when you want something. Unless you found an exceptionally shitty restaurant, they'll almost always come right over.
Try Eastern Europe. You are expected to tip, and the service is usually atrociously slow (and not necessarily good in any other way either). Bad service culture is bad service culture. Where I live waiters are expected to perform their jobs properly just like everyone else.
The idea that you should grovel and always defer to your boss because they're kind enough to employ you is something I've only seen from Americans.
Because that's the reality — most of us can be fired at any time for any reason.