if upgrading is that bad can always (usually) patch it yourself
Have we sunk that low that the idea of using mature, stable and supported libraries is idealistic and paranoid now? It used to just be called responsible.
> but that's just not how majority of developers work, so it's a bit of a moot point
I don't think identifying the root cause of an issue is ever a moot point.
Further, I would bet a large sum of money that the overwhelming majority of vulnerabilities discovered and patched in open-source libraries are never officially reported and never have a CVE or OSVDB entry; they are simply patched in situ with no announcement or fanfare.
I've been burned by react-router more than once, so for my last few projects I went for a much older, stabler package (I think it was page.js). I didn't impact my project much, but saved me from dealing with the react-router hell of tight coupling with react combined with a history of ridiculous non-backwards-compatible updates.