Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don't want to be like this at all. I can't stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I'd much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.
Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don't want to be like this at all. I can't stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I'd much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.
But there are also lots of people out there that know better than to mistreat someone for their gender expression. There are people out there that even find it worth celebrating. If you there is a community of nonbinary/gender nonconforming/genderqueer organizers near you, that can be a good place to start looking. And maybe someday, with enough help from your community and possibly therapy, you can learn to celebrate yourself for how you express yourself too. You are worthy of it.
I think this is completely the wrong advice for who you're talking to. From the sounds of it he's complely, unquestionably a man who wants to present as completely, unquestionably a man too, but doesn't for whatever reasons.
It seems like you're saying "yeah you're a girly man, that's what you are now, better learn to embrace it" rather than "learn to express yourself how you want".
It's true, I am saying that. I think the root problem is how the parent comment author is being treated, rather than how he is acting, since his main motivation for changing how he acts is to be treated differently.
He's free to reject my advice, but I know that when I was a younger person going through the same thing, it was exactly this advice that helped me survive after many years of only being ineffectively told that I needed to "man up."
I did "man up", just in a very positive way aided by having a lot of female and queer friends, rather than the regressive 4chan way I was told to when I was a teenager. Your comment read not as encouraging that, but as, "you might as well accept your fate now and start wearing a dress."
Being your best self has nothing to do with socializing by the way, hopefully you would be doing that even if you were alone in your room.
For example, if the OP advice of "let your inner person go out in every occasion in order to immediately push away people that don't like you" leads to a bunch of mean shit that alienates women, that's probably a thing worth changing.
The advice in that sentence is more for people who have fears like "I don't want to talk about my hobbies because I'm scared people won't respect me". All advice isn't right for all people, here's one of my favorite articles about that: http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery...
My advice is to examine why you don't want to be yourself: if you're living in a way that's incongruent with your values, or values that you want to have because you believe they would make your life and the world genuinely better, then yeah, start making changes in pursuit of those values.
If people are treating you badly for ways that you are, and, were you not being mistreated, you'd be okay staying the way you are? And nobody claims to be harmed by the way you are (highly unlikely, from the sound of it)? Stay you. Find new people. It is crazy how varied, and how sandboxed, groups of people are. The subculture switching cost is very nearly zero, and you'll never bump into the last batch once you make the jump.
Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat, it's in my profile.