Seems to have really good reviews. Is it something worth reading for somebody without a depression or a trauma? Any insight that stuck with you the most? I'm sorry about your mom.
I’d say it’s still worth reading to better understand the people around you who seem to act in almost objectively “illogical/irrational” ways, even when presented with better solutions. Even though such behavior is typically self-destructive, this book helped me to see the “logic” of it (Eg some obese women are obese because they were abused as children and they unconsciously overeat/eat junk food to make themselves fat and unattractive to potential abusers, so without resolving that issue no amount of healthy nutrition knowledge will help them, they’ll always regress).
It’s also given me more empathy for those around me, instead of feeling like they’re doing things “to me” I’ve been able to keep the bigger picture in mind and realize that people mistreating you is typically just a sign that they have unresolved issues themselves (that doesn’t mean you just let it happen without saying anything, but the increased empathy helps me handle the situation better).
I‘m not a big fan of these kind of „logic“ explanations. I think the explanation can be a lot more straightforward, like by being treated worthless your whole childhood you‘ve internalised this feeling and now continue to do the same to yourself.
But yes, it‘s really helpful to somehow understand or least get an idea why a person behaves in a certain way.
Sexual abuse traumas get interpreted by some bodies as the same kinds of stress signals as famine, raising leptin, causing overeating.
So I guess the broader point is that some of the "unconscious logic" going on inside us isn't just habits or odd personality traits, but actual chemical processes.
Note that I got all of this knowledge from reading a Pop Sci weight loss book. HN, let me know if you know better :-)
I believe the book provides a key to understanding how to resolve those feelings that traditional psychotherapy lacks (with its focus on identifying the problem and acting more logically, most people know exactly what they’re doing wrong, they don’t need you to point it out, they need to resolve the underlying issue — which typically seems to be some childhood trauma).