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Comment by cik | Hacker News Reader

There's an old adage that successful people surround themselves with success. It's all about cohort - if you don't have other friends who are pushing themselves the way you are, it will be very, very, hard. It doesn't matter if you're in tech and your friend is in gardening, what matters is the shared struggle, and dreams. It helps knowing you're in a boat others have been in before.

Spouses/partners can understand and support - but (most) haven't been through it, and there's just a different conversation that can be had with others who have. That's not a negative, it's a reminder that it really does take all types.

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This is why it's important to grow up in the right zip code, do well in school, score high enough on standardized tests, get into the best universities. If you want to maximize your chances of getting to the top, the best way to do that is to know the right people.

Pick your parents well.

There are many, many people who do these things and fail or become mediocre at best. In fact I'd say the ultra rule following path you laid out is contra to what makes a great entrepreneur in most cases.

That being said, having rich parents is the #1 way to raise capital. VCs fund people they know socially first.

Why do we focus on zip code, schools and the like? The help, but they're way less valuable than human relationships. Entrepreneurs put way too little value on non-business friendships, but the reality is that they're what sustain you. Sometimes I really just need to discuss things with my best friend and get her perspective - she has nothing to do with tech, doesn't live on my continent, and at the same time, has so many of the similar problems. That's the real magic.

I have the opposite experience. And still managed to surround myself with like-minded people. What did I do? I did what the op wrote:

> I find goals that excite me, and I dedicate every molecule in my body towards achieving this goal.

I did this for many things. And I finally connected the dots.

That’s one approach of many, and ultimately depends on the individual.

That's why I wrote "maximizing chances". Life offers no guarantees, all we can do is try to optimize our choices so the probability of success (however one defines it) is maximized. The data I've seen suggest that knowing the right (well heeled, hard working, smart, etc) people plays a huge role in building a business.

Great advice! That's like saying that it's super easy to become rich. It just takes 2 easy steps: Step 1. Be born into a rich family. Step 2: Get inheritance cash.

Don't be so morbid. If you have a rich family, you can get plenty of capital without anyone dying.

They're not saying it's easy. They're saying some people have a huge head start in the race.

>here's an old adage that successful people surround themselves with success. It's all about cohort - if you don't have other friends who are pushing themselves the way you are, it will be very, very, hard.

Or, you know, riches come to riches, which amount to the same thing.

People born in slums don't have as many changes to "surround themselves with success". For one, they wouldn't be welcome by most successful people.

100% agree.

I don't have any friends that pushed themselves to start an IT company and being successful. I only know people who claimed to do the best but failed miserably within the first year of their start-up.

I made also failures in my startup as well, but we closed because we were approaching the zero budget and without having real customers.

Partners who are not in IT cannot fully understand the struggle of running an IT company.

It's interesting to me that you categorize your failures differently than the "people you know".

This is what I have been going through for a long time. Everyone around me goes to their 9-5, so I barely even talk about my work anymore with them (even though I love it). You get used to it. I have tried finding people that are doing the same thing as me but with no luck.

If you have a little bit of freedom (money and job-wise) and your country (passport) allows you to travel - try to join a digital nomad trip. NOT one of those "life coach, ebook selling things".

You'll be part of a group of like-minded people from around the world. I joined Hacker Paradise some years ago and it not only gave me valuable directions but tons of people that would understand what a Trello is and you can share struggles and stories.

Well, you found one just now.

Your spouse may not be able to understand everything but if they don't support you, your life is going to be hell. Sadly, it's rare to see a founders spouse happily take the roller coaster ride with them for the long haul.

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