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Active listening. I'm amazed at how much better discussions go when this simple tool is used. Conflicts big and small melt away. Understanding, trust, and confidence are built. And even if not everyone agrees at the end, they at least feel heard, which is such an overlooked and underrated need.

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What resource did you learn this from?

One way I found helpful is to repeat or paraphrase what the other person had said in the conversation. At first I was surprised by how difficult this was. Then I realized it’s because I was just hearing the words but not processing them. This also signifies to the other person that you are understanding and engaging in the conversation.

That's basically it. I find that it serves three functions: one is making the other person feel heard, two is making sure I actually understand what they're saying (misunderstandings are more common than I think!), and three is forcing me to put my own response on hold. That last bit is huge. I had no idea how reactive I was in conversation, and what a detriment it is to communication.

Therapy. :)

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