Moreover, I saw quite a few senior engineers and discovered that I do not want to be alike…
This is one thing that I've seen at several jobs I've had and it seriously concerns me. I'm almost 10 years into my career and I've worked at 5 companies. I don't feel like I've ever worked with someone that I really thought of as someone who I want to be like.The senior engineers, tech leads, and managers I've worked with are usually people with more seniority, less energy, and not much more wisdom.
It wouldn't make me so anxious, but that I'm getting to the point where I feel like I'm their position and my less experienced coworkers are thinking the same of me. I try to be better but I've gotten tired of it and I get the feeling that everyone else is tired too.