Your post could have been made by me in 1995. I barely graduated high school and had lied a lot, mostly to my parents. I joined the US Air Force and some time in there, I just decided that lying was more trouble than it is worth. Now, I never lie. Ever. Period. It is very freeing. Now, as for your career. I wouldn't be so down about not knowing what to do. My career track was Air Force->College->Electrical Engineer->Technical Sales->Embedded Engineer->Software Developer

Not necessarily the model of climbing the ladder, but I've learned something at every stop along the way. It's amazing the things that seem trivial at the time, but 20 years later still provide value.

It sounds like you may need to spend some time on what kind of person you want to be. Don't put too much of your identity into what you do for money. Maybe spend some time trying to help others. Helping others can put your own struggles into perspective.

Good luck. I'll be praying for you.