"Even the canonical example of an isolated transaction—a transfer of funds between bank accounts—happens with a 24-hour window of indeterminacy. In fact, one of the few financial transactions which actually resembles a database transaction is the physical exchange of cash for goods—a totally analog experience."

With all due respect, that's a bunch of bullshit, and is a great example of passing off how you think something works as how it does work.

My bank transfers between accounts happen instantly. Buying stuff online isn't an analog experience, and happens instantly.

Let's not put banking into the same category as a Twitter-like app, because they're nothing alike.

It's perfectly okay that two different solutions exist for two different sets of problems, and there's no real need to argue that your world view applies to all problems.