The profession requires one to be outwardly strident, speak up and fight for your points lest the opposing counsel win.
We have electrician learn by doing electrical work. Doctors do residencies. If you aren't the right personality for the profession, then that's the breaks.
And finally, length of ones document is not an indication of quality. If that were the case, the United States Constitution (shortest in the world, ~4000 words ) wouldn't be the longest tenured.