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Comment by soared | Hacker News Reader

A better question to ask is why does SF think its some unique city where everything is different than the rest of world?

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Indeed, based on the title I was hoping we would get an analysis of why flaking is more widespread in San Francisco. Instead, it's just an assumed that more people flaking in SF is true, and conjecture and anecdotes as to why that may be the case. Not a very interesting article for HN.

Having lived in SF for a few years now I would say it is very unique (not necessarily in good ways).

The weirdest thing about SF is that there are no kids.

That really depends on which part of the city you’re in, my neighborhood is a sea of strollers!

Do you also live in Noe Valley? I'm surrounded by children and strollers on the J most days.

I guess, but I'm just saying walking downtown you just don't see families, kids anywhere...whereas in most other cities you see kids, families, retirees, students, workers, etc in the "public centers" of a city.

My experience is only anecdotal, but I think most city centers I've spent much time in (Austin, Houston, Tokyo) haven't had many families around during the work week either. If you go to fisherman's wharf, you'll find it crawling with families (undeniably mostly tourists), and most weekends you'll find Union Square swarmed as well.

The real difference I've noticed with kids in this city is, compared to other places I've visited recently, the parents elsewhere acknowledge and/or comfort their kids if they are crying or signaling for attention. Here in SF it seems commonplace for parents to ignore their kids entirely and pretend they don't exist when they are screaming/crying on MUNI, running around at restaurants, or asking "hey mom, hey dad, hey mom, dad, hello?". Parents here either tune out or just don't care.

That is in no way an exclusive SF phenomenon. Shitty parents who don't care about their kids' impact on others exist everywhere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYvYjWgPh-k&t=20

If this is not a walled garden of magic silicon culture, what exactly are we paying so much for?

IMHO, this is a more local version of National Pride, with a little bit of selection bias built in. I have never lived in a city that didn't, collectively, think it was the best at something.

I think it gets magnified in the wake of the unreal inconveniences of large metropolitan area's housing--traffic--etc. You, HAVE to think that yes, you're getting something for that inconvenience that you can't get anywhere else (whether it's true or not), otherwise, you simply wouldn't be there.

Good point.

Indeed — I chuckled when I read the headline. Here in NYC it's exactly the same.

I live in Portland and I've heard the whole "this city is colder/flakier than other cities" bit.

I’ve read articles about the same phenomenon in Seattle and people say the same thing about Tokyo.

An LA based podcast I listen to, constantly mentions the flaking problem there.

I experience flaking a fair amount here in the Denver/Boulder area as well...

It's certainly different from the Midwest. In Indianapolis or Chicago or Madison, if you don't honor the friend cancellation policy and notify your change at least 24 hours in advance, it negatively impacts your social credit score. If you flake out more than once or twice, people stop inviting you to stuff, or invite you only to events that won't fall apart if you aren't there.

For instance, if you have a standing appointment for Game Night on Wednesday, and don't show up half the time, someone else might get invited to fill your seat all the time, rather than just when you aren't there. And woe unto you if they start Axis & Allies on a night when you're out, and then don't finish it for 4 weeks.

Friends show up. If they don't do that in SF, that's just one more reason not to move there.

I also note that people in the South flake out or bail more readily than the Midwest. It's really annoying.

I'd be even more curious in an answer to the question of why you think this article tries to convey the idea that SF is special. She lives in this city, she interested in the flaking phenomena. She's said not a word about the city being special. Wouldn't it be more strange that she wrote about flaking in a different city?

> why you think this article tries to convey the idea that SF is special. She lives in this city, she interested in the flaking phenomena. She's said not a word about the city being special.

It says 'the rate of "flaking" in San Francisco is really high' - the only reasonable reading of that to me is 'really high... compared to other places'. You can only be 'high' compared to something else, and the only thing which qualifies this data point is 'in San Francisco'.

I don't think it's unreasonable that SF has an anomalously high flaking rate compared to cities in the rest of the US. I don't have data on it, but I don't think it's a statement that's so unlikely to be true that the author deserves to be shamed for making it.

Someone asked 'why you think this article tries to convey the idea that SF is special'. I pointed out where the article implies that the rate is high compared to other places. So you're not really arguing about the same thing.

Cities are actually different from one another culturally, to be fair.

LOL I don't live there, but it is pretty damn different if you've ever visited.

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