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Comment by dfsegoat | Hacker News Reader

To be clear, the author's usage of "flaking" refers to people who "flake out" - or frequently renege or "bail out" of plans they have made with other people.

In my opinion - people who flake have a lack of self-discipline and a lack of respect for anyones time but their own.

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Agreed. Inability to even consider other people’s needs is one of the worst attributes in a person.

Which takes empathy. Which a lot of people in tech don't have.

Scarily enough, the psychologist who observed the defendants at the Nuremberg Trials decided that a complete and utter lack of empathy was the defining characteristic of evil people.

It depends on culture.

See the recent article about Brazil, where it's considered rude to arrive on time, because everybody expects you to be at least one hour late.

But that would not be flaking, just being late, no? Are there cultures where completely failing to do what you said you would is acceptable?

Similar could be said for a lot of latin countries, though you are right -- they may be late but they do show up

Right. Totally get this: My folks live in the Caribbean, and "island time" is very much in effect, which means realistically expect things 2-3 hours from whatever time was agreed upon.

Thanks. The dictionary I tried didn't seem to have a definition which fit what the article was alluding to, but urbandictionary did!

I am the opposite. I find flaking acceptable and find that people who don't are intolerant. I think it's partially a cultural thing.

Don't get how you find people who meets you on time "intolerant"

To clarify, I try to avoid people who believe that flaking or being a bit late is rude. Of course, I don't mind people who are on time.

What does 'flaking' mean to you? As in making something like a dinner plan and then just never turning up? I really can't understand finding that acceptable. Are you not annoyed at the waste of time and embarrassment?

Also, the wasted money spent on any travel costs, the wasted time spent earning the money that was pointlessly spent on said travel costs, and the opportunity cost of not doing something more productive with your time and money.

Loss of the cover to the restaurant as well. And you might not get a reservation there again.

Maybe I misunderstood the meaning of flaking as I'm not a native speaker. I would consider it rude if the plan was already under way (e.g. someone started cooking, already traveled to somewhere, etc.) but canceling plans a bit ahead of time is acceptable to me.

Intolerant of allowing people to waste your time or wasting other people's time?

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