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Comment by zerealshadowban | Hacker News Reader

Since modern philosophy has been teaching that reality is a social construct, why wouldn't it follow that each individual self is too? Further, we have been taught that values are socially determined (market prices, fashion, popular arts, ...) and that for the individual the highest moral compass resides in the well-being of others (e.g. utilitarianism, charity drives, altruism, welfare programs, ...).

Given this, wouldn't it be abnormal to eschew social networks and the daily, hourly, validation they provide? of course people used to seek social acceptance in person, but physical social intercourse has been shrinking, so the online world is now where we can most easily obtain it. And soon, virtual worlds will provide in even greater abundance.

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This doesn't follow at all. I am very committed to the well-being of others, and donate my time and money in various ways to help, but I'm not on social media because it is so clearly a game that takes people away from their best ideals. As an example, consider people who post photos of the party they went to last night, or the vacation they took last week. There is a competition to suggest that their life is amazing. I don't judge them, and they are free to live however they wish, but that focus takes people away from the ideals of helping others.

You mention that notion that reality is a social construct. This makes me think of Jean Baudrillard[1] and his assertion that the Gulf War I did not occur, it was simply a television show that we all watched.

Baudrillard would obviously assert that Facebook is part of the Simulacra. (I don't think anyone can doubt that, so I'm not qualifying the sentence.) If one is trying to get back to something real, the path does not lead through Facebook. If one is trying to find real connections with other human beings, the path does not lead through Facebook.

[1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Baudrillard

Social highly-if-not-totally weights appearance over almost all other forms of human interactions.

In my experience, photos get about 10x the likes of text-based posts. We can argue the exact amount, but we all must notice that pictures get far most attention then everything else, correct?

Given this, isn't that quite obviously the wrong type of validation people should be seeking?

The superficiality of how one looks should certainly not be weighted 10x over all other aspects of one's personality, and brings to mind the worst aspects of high-school-based in/out-group mechanics.

At it's best, it's simply welfare for the rich. People who look good already get the lion's share of "likes" and attention in the real world.

It hardly seems like a good thing it should be so online as well.

There’s nothing pathological about simply seeking and obtaining social acceptance online, if that’s what you’re saying, and social acceptance is part of the self-worth equation, according to the article.

Needing people to like you has little to do with acting for the common good. It’s literally about what you can get rather than what you can give. The first think to do if you want to truly focus on others’ well-being is to stop caring what anyone has to say about who you are and what you do. Living authentically is going to make some people confused or uncomfortable. A lot of people are super judgmental and are looking for validation of their own tastes and choices.

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