Hacker News Reader

Comment by TeMPOraL | Hacker News Reader

> I agree that voice is very narrow, but it's also quite expressible when there's a person to call someone and ask then grab something from the store for you.

Don't get me started...

For some reason, most normal people can't express their preferences - and they absolutely have them, which they'll be very happy to shout at you about when you come back with the wrong product. I've learned the hard way that when someone asks me to buy e.g. milk, I need to ask about brand, size, fat percentage, UHT or no, and which other brands/sizes/percentages are acceptable if the preferred one is not available - and I need to ask those questions before leaving.

Or maybe it's just me who wasn't born with mind-reading capability...

(And no, buying the "usual one" is not a good strategy, because there are good chances that they need a different one just this once, and yes, I was supposed to guess that myself.)

View on HN

My wife has been made aware that she must write exactly what she wants on the shopping list (I do the shopping); I get what is on the list. If what she wrote is incorrect, so too will be what I buy. If there's ambiguity, I call her. I find food shopping to be very high stress (because half the things I buy involve me asking myself if it's the right thing, what I might be reading incorrectly, etc). If the shopping list is particularly odd (she's trying a new recipe and needs lots of unusual, specific ingredients), I make her do that trip.

The trick to this is, just be exceptionally bad at it. My wife doesn't ask me for things anymore after I did the shopping and came back with almost nothing on the list, but with things I thought were probably reasonable replacements.

"What do you mean, creme fraiche isn't double cream? It's close isn't it? It's dairy, right?"

"The trick" to not do any household chores anymore?

Wives hate this one simple trick!

People who think this way in about their relationships (and I used to be one of them) should try to apply the same thinking to an workplace situation in order to see how messed up it is. You're effectively the person at a workplace that is dodging all the unpleasant work and everyone else have to pick up the slack.

In this case, it's not dodging all unpleasant work, just the tasks for which normals are spectacularly bad at specifying what they want, while simultaneously being very sensitive to the correctness of the result. Personally, I always do my best to teach the other party how to communicate clearly, but I guess letting other people deal with that is a valid strategy too.

a) I don't apply this philosophy to my entire life.

b) It was mostly a joke - but I do happen to be exceptionally bad at this. I get frustrated about half an hour in and panic. I do other chores instead.

A better trick is to not put up with nonsense. Do the best you can and if the result isn’t to her liking, point out that it’s her responsibility to communicate all of their needs in that situation.

I don’t understand why so many men treat their wives like some sort of untamed beast, to be trained and placated and feared in equal measure. She’s a person, treat her like one.

What? In what way did you manage to infer that I treat her like some kind of untamed beast? What a completely ridiculous and unnecessary personal attack.

That's called "marriage", my friend ;)

Reply on news.ycombinator.com