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For short messages, I open and close with the person's name. For longer messages, I pepper in the name at points where I feel they may need a reminder that I'm here to help or to emphasize that I care. You're right that if you overdo it, you can create a Stepford-Wives vibe, but if you write the way you speak, it should be pretty easy to avoid.

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Why is it important to remind someone of their own name in the middle of a long conversation?

To prove you didn’t forget it?

I suppose to reassure them of the personal touch -- that this isn't a copy+paste response. But to me it usually feels forced. Much better to find a more natural way to remind them this is a personalized message, like referencing their situation. "As this is an urgent request, Jennifer, we can provide..." vs. "As this is an urgent request due to your upcoming status meeting, we can provide...".

I don't think it goes very far to reassure me that a response is copy/pasted or machine-written. My name could be as easily pulled from a database as from someone's memory.

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