This "problem" goes both ways - many people get very stressed and depressed when listening to someone just "needing to vent" and who does not want/need solutions.
As engineers and problem solvers, we should know how to define the problem properly.
(To be clear -- I am glad to do that, when the problem doesn't have a solution! Death of a loved one, annoying co-workers, etc.)
Particularly in the "repeat" case. If the problem is so unimportant that you are not interested in solving it, then it is also not important enough for me to listen to you bitching about it.
I also find it at least odd how this constructive approach is so commonly viewed as negative, whereas wallowing in self-pity and dragging others down with you somehow as emotionally mature.
It's not. And some newer, less prejudiced research has actually shown that men's coping strategies have better outcomes in terms of psychological health.
So the advice often given to "support" people in their self-destructive behavior is actively harmful.
I understand the impulse. It's very tempting. I've certainly fallen into that response many times.
And of course, sometimes the person is receptive to advice, and then it is a great feeling to offer whatever insight you can.
Providing emotional support when it is reasonably needed and when one has the energy to do so seems like a valuable way to have generally beneficial interactions with other people.
Some naturally have more energy for this than others. But it is a skill than can be worked on like any other. And also, as one better understands the value of this type of support, it becomes more rewarding and easier to provide it.
It seems like a solution-oriented individual should feel comfortable offering that solution.
Like the GP said, it's a two-way street. Understand your friends and loved ones and compromise.
If the person you habitually complain to consistently offers informational rather than emotional support, it's likely that they do so because they lack the capacity to simply absorb your emotional outporing. Consider that, regardless of how much they care for you, they may not be capable of significantly developing this ability. If that is the case, the advice the article offers is unhelpful, and the relationship would be better served by the complainer finding another outlet for their emotional stress, or learning to accept well-intentioned advice.
Relationships are not 50/50 compromises. They're a dance of compromises in favor of one party or another at different times. You've got to decide as an individual if the balance is acceptable and I can't say that you seem very giving from your posts.
Again, that's a choice and your right but don't expect reality to conform to your desires because it rarely will.
Exactly as you said, relationships are a complex negotiation. Claiming that inability to simply sit and listen to solvable troubles is "the problem" is unhelpful. It is SOMETIMES the problem -- probably more often than not -- but sometimes people just whine too much and are too full of themselves to accept much needed help and it's unhelpful to blame the listener for not wanting to sit through that emotionally draining experience every day of their life.
Perhaps you could have explicitly stated your context in the beginning, as it seems most others were assuming two relatively well-adjusted individuals.