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Dialects are often more the rule than not.

Italian German, French, an yea, e'en English, have mutually all-but-unintelligible variants.

"mutually all-but-unintelligible" doesn't make any sense. Should read "all-but-mutually unintelligible".

It's almost as if it were all unintelligible, but mutually.

I don't get it. Do you?