I honestly have no idea what you are going on about. Nobody else is talking about “changes”, workflow-breaking or otherwise.
You said “In fact, I'd say this is even clearer, putting the question at the end and immediately following it with the two choices:”
Did you ever test this explicitly vs. the recommended alternative of using verbs for labels? (Ideally by doing a user study, but heck, I’ll take anything...)
I claim that this has been empirically tested and found to be inferior (i.e. result in higher error rate) in a variety of studies, both in published research and internal to various large companies which then got baked into their design guidelines. This was a subject of active research in the 1970s–1990s (and perhaps before).
You can find reasonably good advice about the subject in any number of introductory interface design textbooks, etc.
In this particular case, where user data is being irrevocably deleted, errors are especially harmful.
Edit: Maybe the word “terrible” in my previous comment was unfair. Sorry to be inflammatory.