Comment by bendmorris | Hacker News Reader

Comment by bendmorris | Hacker News Reader

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Some quotes:

>Does that mean I’m a happy camper? Fuck no. My total comp for the first year is only $145k out of undergrad with a base of $106k. My friends at places like Google, FB and Cruise are making more like $180k-$230k by comparison. Perks are also nonexistent.

>The worst part, though, is knowing that i have become stuck in a company with a significantly lower hiring bar. Im honestly terrified that the value on the resume will decline over time and i will never be able to get into a more prestigious company. The idea of being relegated to a 2nd or third tier company has been eating at me, and comments on places like CSCQ, Blind and this AskHN nearly drove me to suicide before.

OP, what makes you happy? I suggest that being at a "more prestigious" company like Facebook or Google (granting for argument's sake that they actually are) will not make you happier, neither will making a few thousand bucks a year more than your already higher-than-median salary. You can waste years of your life chasing these things only to discover they didn't make the difference you thought they would. At the end of the day, what do you want to do?

> Im honestly terrified that the value on the resume will decline over time and i will never be able to get into a more prestigious company. The idea of being relegated to a 2nd or third tier company has been eating at me, and comments on places like CSCQ, Blind and this AskHN nearly drove me to suicide before.

WOW... dude cares way too much about work. I guess I had a similar mindset when I was 22. After about 5 years of work, he won't give a damn anymore.

If OP is in Google, I suspect they would be now complaining how they are stuck in a second-rate project with no future, while their friends are in a fast track to promotion with juicy projects. Won't be the first person to make such a complaint, either.

But, yes, OP really needs to see a doctor.

I'm just really, really tired of folks from Facebook and Google looking down on me. They keep saying that "everyone gets an Amazon offer" and that the "hiring bar is so low" while waving around their $100k signing bonuses or $200k total compensations with their perks that I'll never get.

1. Hang out with better people.

2. Stop thinking about how much money others make.

3. There's more to life than which company you work for.

'm just really, really tired of folks from Facebook and Google looking down on me.

OK, here's some harsh truth for you. The vast majority of people at Google and Facebook aren't "looking down on you" because they don't know you exist. And they wouldn't give two fucks if they did know. They're all too busy worrying about their own problems to worry about you.

So by "people" you probably mean "the small handful of guys/gals I know from college, or met at some meetup, etc." You know what? Fuck 'em. Seriously, their opinion means shit in the grand scheme of things. Those people aren't "elite" they're just code monkeys who work for a company that is good at marketing itself.

You want to be "elite" I say go start your own company (after putting in some time doing $WHATEVER), build something awesome, have an IPO and then you'll be the one looking down at your "buddies". Except, by then, you'll probably have learned that the whole idea of looking down on someone (or being looked down on by somehow) because of a disparity in relative wealth, is a stupid game in the first place! And you probably won't be arsed to play by then. You'll have more important things to worry about.

while waving around their $100k signing bonuses

I know it seems hard to believe right now, but that really, really, just does not matter. That bonus will be long spent and a distant, meaningless memory, in the blink of an eye.

Anyway, if you are just as good as those guys at Google, then I say follow the immortal words[1] of Rocky Balbo:

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!

[1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_Vg4uyYwEk

>OK, here's some harsh truth for you. The vast majority of people at Google and Facebook aren't "looking down on you" because they don't know you exist. And they wouldn't give two fucks if they did know. They're all too busy worrying about their own problems to worry about you.

You're 100% correct. They don't. But if they ever do, they're not going to be impressed, they're going to be at worst condescending, or at best will pity me for being stupid.

>Anyway, if you are just as good as those guys at Google, then I say follow the immortal words[1] of Rocky Balbo:

That's the problem. The hiring process has proven that I am not. I'm wondering if it persists over the years, especially now that the bar is so low.

So have you seen a doctor? Suicidal thoughts because your friend joined Google is not normal. I'm serious. You need help. Go talk to a doctor.

The hiring process has proven that I am not.

But it hasn't. You're putting faith in the veracity of "the hiring process" that isn't justified. Nobody in this industry actually knows how to properly evaluate people, and especially not over the long-term. If it worked like that there would be no stories of the guy/gal who gets rejected by Google and then goes on to start a "unicorn" startup, etc. The "hiring process" is full of false positives, false negatives, etc.

I'm wondering if it persists over the years

You are not static - unless you choose to be.

> But if they ever do, they're not going to be impressed, they're going to be at worst condescending, or at best will pity me for being stupid.

Then they are wearing their own insecurities and psychological issues on their sleeves; they are not class acts; they have unresolved issues of their own that they should look at.

Why would you use how damaged people treat you as a way of measuring your own worth?

But they aren't damaged. They're superior by nearly every metric. Schools, GPA, 1st author papers, height, physical attractiveness - they have it all. I don't.

If they are doing as you say:

> they're not going to be impressed, they're going to be at worst condescending, or at best will pity me for being stupid.

...being condescending or pitying, or concluding that you are stupid because you don't work for the same company, they are damaged. Because they aren't seeing you or regarding you as another human.

Just because someone is superior according to whatever arbitrary metric you have picked, does not mean that they should be condescending or pitying to others. The other person is just another human with different circumstances that led them to where they are now. Making value judgements about that only says something about the person making the judgement. Everyone is where they are, and if they are not damaged, they will wish only success for you.

That really sucks - being tired of people you don't know looking down on you.

Let's take this further. Let's say there's a Googler looking down on you for not working in Google - there's a Googler looking down on that person for working on a "low priority" project. If there's a Googler looking down on someone for working on the "wrong" project, then someone's looking down that Googler for selling their life 50 hours a week at a time. Everyone is looked down on in some manner - even Warren Buffet or Bill Gates who might be looked down upon for being old. It never ends.

Anyway, there's nothing you can do about it - except to stop looking down on "mid tier conference", "second tier" hires, "2nd or third tier companies", and that would help a lot. It would improve the world only marginally but it would do tremendous good for yourself. It's your act of looking down on others that's causing your anxiety of being looked down upon. The injury originates from your own thoughts to others.

Pick any thing in the world, for certain dimensions (height, length, attractiveness, intelligence, etc...) and you can put it on the "negative" end, and make disparaging comments against it, or you can put it on the "positive" end and give it praise. Once you've placed it on the "negative" end of the scale, the "positive" end suddenly comes into existence. And once you've placed it on the "positive" end, a whole swarth of other objects now fall on the "negative". If we praise a Googler for getting into Google, suddenly we see less value in engineers who did not get into Google. If we disparage a person for being short, then we see more value in others who are tall. Both are different sides of the same coin. Refrain from criticism and praise. It's the act of comparing that leads us to suffer. Would you rather be the "top Googler" and so miserable to be entertaining suicidal thoughts, which to me looks like where you're heading if you continue thinking the way you are, or a someone who is much more happy with whatever he's doing than doing what straw man Googler's do?

And please see a doctor.

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