I was totally the same.

Just had my first 9mo ago. I’m exhausted. I’m 44 years old (and not financially stable yet due to divorce). It’s hard work at this age. But is it worth it? Absolutely.

I had no affection for children at all before this. I don’t (even now) like other people’s kids that much. But today I came home from a long day of filing SR&ED paperwork (Canadian research tax benefit) and my daughter would just not go to sleep - awful night. But I’m happy. The wonderful things about having kids aren’t in the shitty crap you go through every day. They are in the look that child gives you when you get home. That lasts forever.