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Comment by throw_this_one | Hacker News Reader

Think it through though. It's easy to follow the bandwagon of guys that purport that life to be the solution (I read all this stuff too), and I thought it was too at some point. I think you should go taste that lifestyle, but I think you'd find it to be only a short term fix and the same sort of "trap" awaiting you at the end.

The solution to just simply arm yourself with all the knowledge you can, and then embark on the path to self-actualize. Between self-actualization and playing things close to your vest and smart, I think you can still make it work very well in America. Nowhere has the same purchasing power parity too for tech salaries (except maybe Switzerland).

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Much appreciated man. Yeah, I have been doing the digital nomad lifestyle and lived abroad for a few weeks at a time for the past five years. I do see the trap that befalls most expats and am aware of risks. The months that I spend abroad are the happiest time of my life, when I come back to the states and can't get a date, am told I am toxic and a potential rapist and have to live in a city where homelessness is spiraling out of control and cost of living constantly rising beyond wage inflation, then I start to question everything that society tells me.

I appreciate the advice for self actualization. That is what constantly working on. In my free time, I am finishing my B.S. in Comp Sci/EE, travel internationally, work on certs, hang with my bros, hone my craft, enjoy new hobbies, write creatively, and try to stay sane and physically fit. The problems is that the more I walk down this path, the less tolerance I have for those who deter me from achieving these goals and those who don't impact my life in any positive way. As a 5'll light skinned multi-racial young man, when I try to date online or approach the opposite sex for any sort of intimacy or potential relationship, I get rejected and told I am too short, ethnic looking and am not rich enough by women who earn less than me and made bad life choices. Sigh, I suppose that makes me the asshole for not wanting to deal with this, trying to understand these trends and looking for a way out.

If you are constantly getting turned down for dates, you are doing something wrong - probably approaching the wrong kind of people in the first place. Instead of looking for the super hot chick at the bar and then using cheesy pickup lines, why don't you seek out people who share your same interests, even if they don't seem like "your type". Most times you'll find their company vastly more enjoyable than the hot bar chick and you also won't have to pretend to be something you're not.

lmao buddy it probably has more to do with the "potential rapist" thing

Well, there is that.

Appreciate the advice Man. Being from born and raised in L.A I admit to being a little superficial. A doctor here once stated "LA is a bunch of sevens, trying to be tens, chasing elevens". The potential rapist thing is because I work in academia and there is a lot of awareness emails that go to my email and mandatory orientation, etc. Just gets to be a bit much. I mean every boy got the raping is wrong talk when we were 13 right,?

That's cool you tried it. I've done prolonged fast travel before, which is overrated. But staying in one spot for 1-3 months is something I think could be underrated and I want to try.

One trick I use sometimes is to imagine that I'm abroad even though I'm in my normal city. It makes things more interesting and gives me more energy for interactions.

The short and ethnic thing I could understand being frustrating. I'm basically 6' and white and pretty good looking. But even so, it's not the end all. It just opens the door. I don't get with the "cool" types of girls because I don't follow pop culture and play those games. Those types of girls you don't even want. It's tough though. Best way to meet girls is meetup-type stuff like a local running group, local language meetup, etc. Actually care about the activity and befriend the guys, etc. Then the benefits with girls come in a few months (take it slow and don't be the creepy/loser guy just there for girls). ex. I started going to the language meetup, and going hard in the languages and being kind of silly and fun. Now 2 years in, all the regulars know me and I have cred there. If I ever take a girl there, she knows I'm cool. Or new girls there know that I'm cool from the social proof.

If I didn't have a great family that I want to see monthly, I would definitely consider the moving overseas thing.

Basically you just focus on YOUR PATH and believe in what you spend YOUR TIME on. I think people get magnetized towards people with a "purpose" who can spread life energy instead of trying to take energy(this girl should give me love, this guy should give me respect or validation, etc).

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