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Comment by dev_north_east | Hacker News Reader

> "The journalist was reportedly found by his wife bleeding at the entrance to his block of flats, shot several times in the back, and died in an ambulance.

> He apparently did not tell his wife that the murder had been staged. "Special apologies to my wife," he said at the press conference."

He'll be in the doghouse for a while after this.

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No. The story says (emphasis mine):

> Babchenko said that his wife Olechka and his children were aware of the plan, but he publicly apologised to her at the press conference. "Olechka, I am terribly sorry," he said, "but there were no other options".

Ah, they didn't have that bit in the first draft of the story linked here.

I'm not sure I could do something like that without telling my wife. Surely they could have given her some warning and kept her out of the public eye until the person ordering the assassin had been caught in the sting.

If keeping it from my wife also made her (and my family) safer I would do it without hesitation.

Wow, that kind of thing could give someone PTSD. I think "doghouse" is putting it mildly.

That can shatter the pillar of trust that a relationship is based on. I've experienced it before: one meaningful lie and no matter how many years of truth follow, the relationship dynamic is altered forever. There's always a cloud of doubt.

I'm betting in your case the meaningful lie didn't involve a bid to literally save the liar's life from an assassination plot by an extremely powerful organization.

Yeah, I have no opinion on the right or wrong way to deal with assassination plots. I'm not exactly an expert.

I think context is probably very important, but I don't think context alone can diminish the effect this kind of lie can have. You just kind of leave someone in ontological shock about the foundation of one of their most important relationships.

I wonder how long they made her wait to find out.

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